Carter in Wonderland
by Metoria
Summary: Carter gets swept away to the Wonderful Wonderland of Oz Alice in Wonderland and Wizard of Oz combo Can he get back to Stalag 13? and What is with all the people he meets along the way?
1. It's a Twister! It's a Twister!

Carter in Wonderland.

Chapter 1: It's a Twister! It's a Twister!

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Carter was in the middle of the compound playing ball with the other men. He was on third base. The batter was one of their best. He hoped that he'd hit it far so that he could get to the home plate. The other men were trying to distract him by calling, "Hey batter, batter." However this batter was not so easily tricked. The ball was thrown at intense speeds, but that didn't bother this man. He kept a steady eye on the ball and when the time was right he swung. The bat hit the ball with a loud crack and sent the ball flying yards away. It went and went until it was over the fence and in the woods. Carter followed the ball as well as he could until something else caught his eye. He stopped on his way to the home plate, mid run. There, making its way toward the camp, was a large twister. Carter turned and, while finishing his run to the home plate, ran into the barracks to warn Hogan. However when he entered the barracks no one was in it. He quickly looked around. He ran back out. The camp had cleared when they saw the twister coming. Everyone had headed for shelter. Carter figured he'd best do the same. The twister was at the gate by now and moving fast.

He ran into the barracks and went into Hogan's quarters hoping maybe to find the man there. But to no avail. He went to the window the twister was right there. It blew the glass of the window open hitting Carter in the head. He crashed to the floor. He felt like he was spinning around and around. Everything was black and smelled of dust. Perhaps from the wind. He knew he should get up and try and find some sort of shelter, but he couldn't move. He was laying on something hard.

When he opened his eyes he looked around himself. He was lying on the floor of Hogan's quarters. Everything had been blown and knocked about. The stool had been blown across the room and broken from its impact against the wall. Hogan's desk was on its side, papers were spewed across the floor. Carter got to his feet. He had been lying on his side. He must have landed pretty hard because he was sore on his right side. Slowly he made his way into the common room. His head was pretty sore too.

He must have been hit pretty hard. He looked around no one was in the barracks. He realized that the door and windows were missing. Now it wasn't simply there was a gaping hole in the wall now, because the wall was there. As though no damage had ever been give to it, but the door and windows had all been replaced by wall boards.

Panicking, Carter went back into Hogan's quarters hoping to get out of that window. But when he looked out, there was a drop that he had no intension of jumping from. It was dark and foggy out there and the ground was no where to be seen. No doubt he was over a large abyss that had sharp rocks at the bottom. How did he get here? Did the twister really carry him all the way over here? And where was here? He decided not to get to worried about it. But wait. What if the barracks lost balance and fell into the abyss because he was running around in it? Now he wasn't really going to be running around in it, but walking yes.

The floor seemed sturdy enough. He decided to go back to the common room. If he sat in the center of the barracks then it wouldn't tip right?

So in he went. He saw a Frenchman, Lebeau, leaning over the stove. He wore rabbit ears for some reason. Maybe he hit his head pretty hard and was hallucinating that he was a rabbit. "Lebeau!"

Lebeau looked over startled, took a sip of the stew that was on the stove and POOF!

Carter looked around. "Huh?" Lebeau was gone. Then he caught something out of the corner of his eye. "Lebeau?" A miniature Frenchman went running across the floor.

Carter followed him and saw him dive under a bunk. Carter dove under only to hit the wall. He opened his eyes, holding his forehead from the impact, and saw the Frenchman run into a small mouse hole.

Carter, disappointed, pulled out from under the bunk. He sighed and looked over to the stew. Well, it can't be that bad. Then he thought up a pretty lame joke. Its so bad, it SHRINKS, your appetite! He laughed to himself then took a spoonful of it and he felt himself swaying everything became a haze. He saw faces before him and thought for sure they were real, but they were so blurry that he knew better than to believe them. He squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them he was barely a couple inches high. He cheered in his now small voice then made his way to the mouse hole. He ran under the bunk and looked in. It was dark and he thought he saw cobwebs in there. He saw some movement further down the tunnel. He decided to wait a minute. He was sure there was a box of matches in Newkirk's foot locker. He ran over to his bunk and the footlocker. Lucky for him there was a very small hole in the corner of it. He squeezed in by some luck and went to search for it. He mostly could only feel around for it but he had a pretty good idea where it was. He climbed on top of something and lost his footing. Down he went into a pair of Newkirk's boots.

Carter coughed and gagged at the smell. When was the last time the Englander washed those things? He managed to climb out and shove his head through the hole of the footlocker for some air. He sat there soaking up the oxygen for a minute, then went back to work finding those matches. He avoided any bad smelling shoes and managed to find the book of matches. He pulled them out of the hole after maneuvering them and bending the book a bit. He tore a match out and scraped it along the pack. He quickly ran under the bunk and into the mouse hole. It was like carrying a torch, it was.

He had gone maybe twenty feet, (small person distance) before realizing there was no way that the wall between the outside and in was this thick. He thought maybe he took a wrong turn then realized that he had not turned at all. In all his thinking he wasn't paying attention to the match which was burning down the handle. He felt the flame lick at his hand and in his alarm dropped the match which immediately went out. Now he was all alone in the darkness. He decided to continue walking. He realized he should have brought the book of matches with him. But it was rather large to lug around. So he went onward feeling his way by the wall. After another hundred feet, (again, small person distance) he could see a light. He ran for it and ran right out into a strange town. Everything was his size now. Was he back to normal, or was everything small sized? He turned around and the tunnel he had gone through was gone, only strange trees and a forest were behind him. Why did the trees have candy growing on them? And why did they have strange colored leaves? Pink leaves? Orange leaves? Purple leaves with red polka dots? How strange. He looked back to the town there were buildings that were curvy and spindly with strange colors and stripes. "How curious." He stopped. When did he ever say that?

He heard a strange noise and looked up. He saw a large building falling from the sky. He dove for cover just before it crashed in the middle of the town. When he looked around himself he saw that it hadn't stirred up any dust, everything was still very bright and happy. He looked over to the building; It was barracks two. Only it had no door or windows. What was going on? Had he not been in barracks two before he came here? He looked over to the window, No it was definitely barracks two. He saw himself get up from the floor as he had earlier and leave the room.

Then bubbles started blowing past him. "Bubbles?" he asked as he turned and saw Hilda in a long Pink gown with a long staff and head dress coming toward him in a giant bubble. "How Cur-" He stopped , he didn't say those words, darn it!

Then Hilda landed and greeted him. "Hello Andrew, I'm glad you made it."

"Uhm, Where am I?" Carter asked taking a step forward, finally a familiar face.

"Why, you are in the Wonderful Wonderland of Oz." She motioned around the landscape.

Carter was sure he'd lost his mind at this point. A small mouse ran out of the barracks wall boards and went straight to Hilda who casually scooped him up. "This is Felix you must taking him and guard him well, for if the Wicked Witch was to get him or even the Queen of Hearts, things would not be too pleasant for any of us."

Carter carefully took the mouse. "Why is that?"

Hilda didn't look like she knew the answer so she changed the topic. "Yes, if you hadn't dropped his house of the Wicked Witch's sister then this whole town would be in trouble.

Carter wasn't amused. Then it hit him. "I dropped a house on someone?" He asked panicked.

"Of course!" Hilda was so cheerful.

"Oh I didn't mean it honest! Especially of they were innocent." Carter didn't want to be responsible for crushing someone with a building! Blowing them up, now that was another story.

"Oh they weren't! They were after Felix too." Then she thought of something to tell the young man. "You see if they put the mouse into a spell concoction it will send a plague out all over the land and kill everyone and everything!" That sounded pretty good right?

Carter believed her of course. "Oh no! That's terrible!" He looked down at the mouse who looked emotionally scarred for life.

"Don't worry I'll take good care of him!"

"That's a good boy!"

"Not so fast!" Carter looked up and there was a short man with a beard, wearing all black and a pointed hat. A wizard? He thought.

"The Wicked Witch!" Hilda said seriously.

Carter started laughing. "Witches are girls! That's the ugliest girl I ever saw!" the Wicked Witch stormed down from his broom and stomped up to Carter. "For your information. I'm a Warlock not a witch!"

Carter's laughed was suppressed slightly. "Oh, okay. Because you sure don't look like a girl to me!"

The man turned with the huff, "Why do I have to play the Wicked Witch? This is so stupid! Believe me heads will roll for this!" he was talking to himself mainly. "…and besides…" the man turned back, "WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE?"

Carter backed away from the man and hid behind Hilda. "You wont get Felix!"

"Oh, just watch me!" The Wicked Witch.. err Warlock circled around Hilda, who did nothing, and grabbed the mouse from Carter's hand.

"Hey!" Carter tried to snatch the critter back but to no avail.

Hilda looked at the mouse. "Wow I guess you're right, well," She snatched the mouse back. "You still can't have him." She handed him back to Carter who graciously accepted. "Now, let's fight!" Hilda started twirling her staff and the Wicked Witch pulled forth his broom and the two started an epic battle... which was really more like a cat fight, if the Wicked Witch were a girl.

Carter stood by and watched. "Do you think I should try and stop them?" he asked Felix who gave a frightened, violent shake of the head.

Just then the two fighters began throwing lightening bolts. One of them split a tree that Carter was standing three feet from. Then Hilda, using her staff cast a fire ball at the Wicked Witch That exploded at contact. However that didn't even slow the Witch down.

Debris and smoke flew over by Carter who stood there astounded. "Uhmm..." the battle was still going, so what did he do? Why he turned tail and got the heck out of there that's what! He figured he'd let them sort it out on their own. None of them made much sense anyway.

[AN] Alright so I hope you like Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz as much as I do. I thought this would be a cute fic. At first I wasn't going to do it, but I couldn't resist it anymore! So I hope you like! Please R&R!


	2. Meetings

Carter in Wonderland

Chapter 2- Meetings

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Carter was sure glad to get the heck away from those two magical menaces! However he had no idea where the heck he was! Felix seemed to calm down now that he was away from those nut cases! 'Throwing him in a concoction' how mean. Carter turned around a bend only to stop. "I passed that tree four times already! I know I haven't been going in a circle either!"

"Have you tried asking for directions?" A smooth voice sounded nearby.

Carter looked around but saw no one. "Whose there?"

A man stepped out from behind a tree. He had cat ears on.

"Who are you?" Carter asked surprised.

The cat rolled his eyes. "Newkirk the Cheshire Cat, thank you very much!" He crossed his arms and leaned against the tree.

"Oh, okay, well, Mr. Cat can you tell me where to go?" He then immediately regretted his wording.

"That all depends-"

"On where I want to go." Carter finished annoyed.

The Cheshire Cat rolled his eyes irritated. What was the point of playing the Cheshire Cat if Carter kept taking his lines?

Carter rethought his wording. "Can you tell me how to get back to Stalag 13?"

The Cat was too annoyed to give him a good answer but knew he should at least give him something. "You'll 'ave to ask the Mad 'Atter for that, mate." He became transparent and was gone.

"Hey wait!" Carter called the Cat back.

And he returned with an annoyed huff. "What do you want, mate?"

"How do I find this Mad Hatter?" Carter asked.

"Follow the path of course!" And he was gone again.

Carter looked down the path; the same path he'd been walking that got him no where. Maybe he was supposed to ask direction and then it would take him somewhere. Or maybe not. He decided to walk it anyway. Even if I didn't lead him to the Mad Hatter he'd at least wind back up at the tree right? Carter followed the path as he had before with Felix in his hand because all his pockets had holes in them and the poor mouse kept falling through. "If only I had something to carry you in." Carter said talking to the mouse who squeaked in agreement.

Carter looked up and saw something sitting by a tree. The same tree he had just been at! Carter growled in frustration. He looked closer and it was a basket. He decided to take it. He put Felix in the basket and the basket on his arm and looked around. "Now where?"

"'Ow about to my Mad Tea Party?" Carter jumped as a voice came from right behind him. He spun around and saw it was the Cheshire Cat with a large hat on instead of ears and wearing elegant clothes and top coat. This wasn't funny. Carter was lost and wanted to get back to Stalag 13 and his friends but this stupid cat…hatter guy was making it difficult.

Carter turned and started walking away but was pulled back by the Hatter. When Carter turned around there was a house and a large table set for a tea party before him. Where did that stupid tree go? He didn't know what to say or do. So the Hatter pulled Carter to the table and sat him down.

"Now then, 'ow about a riddle?" The Hatter poured himself some tea , sipped it then placed it back on the table and leaned on his hand.

"A riddle?" Carter asked. The tea looked good. He eyed it. Then went to help himself.

The Hatter swiped it away and poured himself some more tea. "Yes, a riddle." He said as though he wasn't paying attention to the fact that Carter wanted tea.

Carter thought nothing of it. Maybe the Hatter hadn't realized that he wanted tea. So Carter waited until he was finished but the Hatter just poured and poured the tea. It didn't over flow in the cup but the pot was empty. He tossed it over his shoulder and drank down his tea. He gulped it all down. Carter wasn't sure how long the Hatter sat there drinking all that tea but it had to be at least a few minutes. He didn't even stop to take a breath. When he was finished he didn't even gulp down any air after the long dragged out minutes without it. It was as thought he hadn't even been drinking any tea. He just leaned on his hands and looked at Carter.

Carter blinked then shook his head. " You were saying?"

"I was saying something?" The Hatter looked at him surprised.

"The riddle?" Carter clarified.

"Oh yes, tell me a riddle." the Hatter leaned in eager to listen.

"I thought you were telling the riddle." Carter said confused.

"You didn't come with a riddle? Tsk Tsk! What a terrible 'ost!" The Hatter tipped his cup upside down, and when nothing came out he threw it over his shoulder.

"You're the host! I'm the guest! You serve me the tea." Carter was getting annoyed again.

"Well if you were any kind of 'ost you'd pour your own tea!" Hatter shook his head disappointed in the young man.

"I'm the guest!" Carter nearly tore the hair out of his head.

"Oh. Then where is our 'ost?" The Hatter looked around.

Carter sighed. Now he knew why he was called the Mad Hatter; he was insane!

"Well, since the 'ost never told you to bring a riddle I'll show you mine." The Hatter leaned down below the table and pulled out a contraption.

"What is it?" Carter asked.

"Why, it's a riddle!" the Hatter said scolding him for his ignorance.

"It looks more like a radio or something like that." Carter said explaining.

The Hatter took it and threw it as hard as he could at Carter hitting him in the head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"It wasn't me it was that 'ead injury of yours!" The Hatter said as though nothing happened.

Carter stood up and stormed off. The Hatter didn't try to stop him in the slightest. So Carter continued off into the woods once again.

He turned a bend and came back to the tree that he hated so much. He was so mad he wanted to punch something. "I hate this tree."

"Well, I love it."

Carter turned and saw the cat sitting in the tree. "And I really don't like you. 'Mr. Hatter'."

The cat looked at him uninterested. "I 'ave no idea what your talking about."

"Uh huh, sure." Carter didn't buy that for a second.

"Try going back," Newkirk the Cheshire Cat looked down to the basket that Carter had on his arm. "What's that?"

Carter looked down. "Felix."

He showed the cat, causing Felix to cower in the corner of the basket.

The cat licked his lips causing alarm to Carter. The cat snatched the mouse up and went to drop it down into his mouth.

"No! Don't eat Felix!" Carter jumped forward punched Newkirk in the stomach and nabbed the mouse. He put the mouse into the basket and quickly retreated into the woods leaving the cat doubled over in pain.

He ran back the way the cat told him and before he knew it he was in a large field with a yellow brick road leading off into the distance. He looked out over the vast fields and saw a scarecrow mounted up at the fork in the road. He stood at the fork looking between the two paths.

"Help!"

Carter looked around. Who was calling for help? "Oh no! Someone is lost in the tall grass of the fields! Come to my voice!" He called out into the grass.

"You stupid boy! Up here!"

Carter looked up and saw that the Scarecrow, who had a monocle, was talking to him.

"I'm stuck! Burkhalter the Tin-Man put me up here as punishment since he knew I'd never survive on the Munchkin Front!" The Scarecrow explained.

"Oh." Carter went forward and began untying.

"And he took my Cowardly Lion partner away and put him in the forest to look for escaped prisoners."

"Really?"

"Yes, AH!" The Scarecrow fell off of the pole he was tied to and landed in the grass. "Oof!" He stood. "I'm free! HAHA!" He started doing a dance.

The only thing Carter was thinking was, 'Wow this guy has no brains at all, and that Burkhalter fellow sounds like he has no heart at all'.

The Scarecrow went running off to the left of the fork and didn't stop no matter how many times Carter called after him.

Carter tried running after him but it was no use. He was going to share his freedom with no one. Oh, well.

Carter continued walking along the path that the Scarecrow had taken and finally came to the woods. "The Cowardly Lion must be in here. If he's a coward he must not be dangerous. Maybe he can tell me how to get back to Stalag Thirteen. I know that brainless scarecrow wouldn't be able to."

He started walking into the woods. They weren't like the woods in that town he first came to with all the candy on them, no, these trees were dark and spooky. That poor Cowardly Lion must be so scared in here. If Carter found him he could help him out of here!

He wandered through the darkness that was getting darker and darker. He saw some movement up ahead and stopped. What was it? Was it the lion? He thought of the cat that tried to eat Felix. A lion is a cat. Would he try to eat the mouse?

He looked up from the basket where Felix was contemplating the same thing, and saw a furry face starring at him. He jumped back. "Who-who are you?"

"I'm Schultz, The Cowardly Lion!" He said cheerfully.

He didn't seem too Cowardly.

"Are you an escaped prisoner?" He asked.

"Uhm. No, not exactly, just a lost one."

The Lion got sad. "Me too, I'm lost and these woods are so scary! But the Tin Man said that if I don't catch the prisoners I'll be sent to the Munchkin Front!" The Lion began to sniffle sadly and wiped his tears with his tail. He then looked down to the basket. "Oh, do you have lunch in there?" He asked hopefully.

Carter's worst nightmare. "No, nothing you would like to eat!" Carter pulled the basket back.

"Oh come now I wont eat all of it! I'll share!" He lifted the sleeve of Carters jacket and squealed in terror as he saw a mouse. "That is not food! It is a mouse!"

Carter hushed him. "The Wicked Witch and the Queen of Hearts are after it. You can't let anyone know I have it!"

"I know nothing!" The Lion said determined not to say a word.

Carter was relieved. "Thanks."

Just then they heard a strange sound. They looked up and Flying German Monkey Soldiers came swooping down at them!

"AH! Run for you life!" The Lion started running away but the monkeys swooped down grabbed him and swooped off. The Lion's screams could be heard for miles and miles.

Carter and Felix, who were scared out of their minds booked out of the area as fast as they could. "I guess he just got transferred to the Munchkin Front!" There was no way they were sticking around in case those things came back.

[AN] Wow the Munchkin Front almost sounds like the Russian Front! HAHA Please R&R

The last time I did a combo of these stories (with another tv show) the readers said that the stories 'freaked them out' But I did this anyway hoping that the readers would enjoy it with my twists.

Check out the poll in my profile please! :D


	3. The Caterpillar and Another Tea Party

Carter in Wonderland

Chapter 3- The Caterpillar and Another Tea Party

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…

Carter had run as far and as fast as he could, but when the trees started looking liked tall blades of grass he had to stop. "Have I shrunk again? Or am I back to the normal land. Maybe I'm just outside of camp now in the grass!" He tried to look over the tall grass blades but there were taller trees than he had ever expected above him. Perhaps as he ran and shrunk as he went or everything grew. "Hmm…" He continued on. Pushing the tall grass blades out of the way he got knocked down a few times by the grass bouncing back after having been moved aside. He tripped a lot too. Luckily Felix was okay. Carter straightened himself and continued on still. He saw smoke rising not to far away. "It must be someone's house!" Carter started running through the grass and tripping a lot.

The men would say, "I thought you were Little Deer Who Goes Swift and Sure Through Forest!"

Carter would reply. "A forest is trees! This is grass! It's different!" Although it really wasn't. He knew how to run through forests but not giant blades of grass that were as tall as trees. You wouldn't believe how many times he nearly got a grass cut trying to get through them. He was covered in grass stains too. Finally he made it through the last grass barrier and fell onto his knees in front of a giant toadstool. He looked up and there in front of his was a Caterpillar. "Uhm, Hello," Carter tried to get the creature's attention while he stood.

The Caterpillar looked down at him. "Hello there. I'm Kinch The Caterpillar." He was smoking a cigarette. It seemed to be giving off more smoke than it ought to.

"Sir," Carter figured if he was going to get help he should be polite. "Could you please tell me how to get home? I need to get back to Stalag Thirteen."

This seemed to please the Caterpillar. "I'm afraid it's rather difficult. I cannot do it."

"You can't?" Carter asked sadly.

"No, but I know someone who can." The Caterpillar sent a puff of smoke up into the air.

"Really? Who?" Carter asked happily.

"The Wizard." The Caterpillar said casually.

"Alright! Where can I find him?" Carter asked cheerfully, finally some good news.

The Caterpillar turned. "Follow this smoke." a path of smoke from the cigarette floated from the toadstool into the grassy forest.

Carter was glad to finally have some help from someone. "Thank you very much Sir, you've been a great help!" And off he went to follow the smoke. Lucky for him he didn't have to keep up with it, because it stayed there the entire time. So no matter how many times he tripped or got smacked in the face by a blade of grass, he could still see the smoke above his head. It wasn't long before he came to large green fortress. "Wow, this thing is huge! No wonder I couldn't see it before, its color blends in with the surroundings. He must be hiding or something. Maybe he doesn't like visitors. Well, we're going to be on our best behavior, aren't we?"

Felix nodded in agreement. Carter went to the door and knocked three times. He waited. He heard someone or something stirring inside. A window opened up and a man poked his head out. "Who's there?"

"Carter! I'm here to see the Wizard please." Carter was covered in dirt, mud and grass stains, not to mention he had a few holes in his clothes from getting caught on things as he ventured through the forests.

The man eyed him up and down. "You're certainly not fit to see the Wizard wearing those!"

Carter looked down at himself he was a mess. "But, Sir, I don't have any other clothes and it's very important that I see the Wizard. I need his help."

The man eyed him again. "Very well." He opened the gate and Carter walked in. The interior was even green. He looked around himself and the man led him to a place where they cleaned him up and gave him new clothes. However he didn't really appreciate the fact that they made him wear a blue dress and starch white apron. However he couldn't argue with them for they would hear none of it. Instead he sucked it up and allowed them to take him to the Wizard. "Now the Wizard is in the middle of a tea party but I'm sure he wont mind seeing you."

"Thank you." Carter was led down a long corridor to a giant door that opened up into a room with very high ceilings and a very long table reaching from one end of the room to the other. At the far end of the table and room was a group of people all huddled together chatting.

Hilda was there with a man in a robe who must have been the Wizard, that jerk of a cat there to switching between his cat ears and hatter hat and the Caterpillar was there as well, along with the Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow.

Carter was glad to see the Cowardly Lion was alright. He stood at the end of the room and the door was closed behind him.

The Wizard looked up and smiled. "Hello, I'm Hogan the Wizard. How may I be of service to you?"

He seemed nice enough. Carter took a shy step forward, "Well, Sir, I was hoping you could help me get back to Stalag Thirteen."

The man's smile didn't cease. "I think that be arranged."

"Really?" Carter was overjoyed. He didn't feel like as much of an idiot standing there wearing a blue dress with apron and a basket on his arm.

"Yes, but you'll have to wear something else." The Wizard eyed him and he blushed in return. He heard the cat snicker and wanted to punch him again.

Hilda stood from where she was sitting next to the Wizard and walked up the Carter. "And Felix is safe?"

Carter showed her Felix and cat licked his lips.

Hilda picked up the mouse and looked at him eye to eye.

Just then there was noise from above. They all looked up and saw Flying German Monkey Soldiers swoop down in a horde, and nab Felix right out from Hilda's hand. The laughter of the Wicked Witch… err Warlock could be heard from the sky above. Flying on her… HIS broomstick he rocketed away leaving a smoke trail that formed wavy, smoky words; The Queen of Hearts.

They all stared up into the sky and watched as Felix was taken away, squeaking for help.

"The Queen of Hearts has captured Felix!" the Wizard cried.

"What would she want him for?" Hilda asked.

Carter looked at the good witch completely confused and a bit annoyed. "What? You said she was going to throw him into a concoction that would send a plague out all over the land killing everyone and everything!"

"And you believed 'er mate?" The Cat said still snickering.

"Well, I had no reason not to!" Carter said exasperated.

"Felix is just 'er pet, she gave you the responsibility to look after it, she did. And now you've gone and screwed it up!" The Cat just loved rubbing salt in the wound.

"Well, if you're so smart, what should we do?" Carter asked indignantly.

"Don't ask me I don't make the plans, the Wizard does."

Carter looked to the Wizard. "To the Wizard Machine!" He pointed into the sky.

Carter looked up. A giant hot air balloon hovered over the room. Carter stopped. "Wait a minute, there a ceiling there not to long ago!"

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy and the Wizard mounted his Balloon with Carter behind him, and the Cat behind him, then the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow. The Caterpillar turned into smoke and flew away while Hilda summoned her giant bubble to take her up.

The group flew through the sky over mountains and the fields of gold until they came over a large palace in the shape of a heart. It was red of course.

They landed in the court yard and quickly dismounted their rides. They hurriedly sped through the corridors until they came to the Queen's Throne room. There at her side was the Wicked Witch and a very large Tin-Man.

'He must be Burkhalter." Carter thought. 'He sure looks heartless.'

Hanging over a boiling pot was a scared Felix with tears pouring down from his big sad eyes.

Lebeau was standing on the side with a tray of snacks for the Queen.

"Lebeau!" Carter called happily.

The Frenchman's rabbit ears perked up at hearing his name.

"Why have you kidnapped Felix the Door Mouse?" the Wizard demanded, pointing an accusative finger at the Queen.

"Gertrude has her reason!" The Tin Man said simply.

"Really?" The Wizard asked sarcastically. "So what are they?"

The Queen stood, short and squat as she was, and faced the group. "I will drop him into a concoction that will send a plague through out the land killing everyone and everything!" She said laughing evilly.

"Really?" They all asked in unison, even Burkhalter and the Wicked Witch. Hilda was certainly surprised.

"No not really! How dumb do you think I am! I'd be a victim too. No, what I want is much more important!" She stepped down from her throne. "What I want is you!" She pointed at the Scarecrow.

"Who me? Don't you mean him?" The Scarecrow pulled the Cowardly Lion in front of him.

"No you!" She said with an angry huff.

"You don't want me" He replied with a whimper.

"Yes, I do!" She said simply.

"You can have him!" The Wizard said easily. "That is…"

Gertrude nodded. "If I give you Felix."

The Wizard nodded.

"You have a deal!" Gertrude gave the signal to let the group get Felix.

The Scarecrow looked at the Wizard. "Hogan! You can't trade me for a mouse!"

"I just did!" The Wizard and the others ran forward to free Felix who was very happy to get untied and taken down from where he was hanging above the boiling pot.

When the Wizard returned the wedding was well underway.

Carter came up behind the Wizard, "Sir," The Wizard turned. "I don't think it's fair that we sold out one friend for another."

"He's no friend!" the Wizard laughed. "He's been in league with them from the beginning. He was just hiding at my place because he didn't want to marry Burkhalter's sister."

"Wait, does that mean that the Tin-Man is the Queen's brother?"

"Uh-huh," The Wizard confirmed this fact.

"Now about gettin' you 'ome." The Cat walked up behind Carter. He was actually really nice just liked to tease and short temper.

Carter nodded. "Yes, I want to get back home to Stalag Thirteen. please."

The Wizard put his hand on Carter's shoulder. "You are home, Carter."

...

[AN] Whatever could the Wizard mean! :o

Find out next chapter! R&R please!


	4. Findings Fits and Fables

Carter in Wonderland

Chapter 4- Findings and Fits and Fables

…

This takes places right after Carter ran into the barracks during the twister and was hit by the window.

…

Lebeau ran into the barracks. He could have sworn he saw Carter run in here. He stopped. Maybe we went down into the tunnel. Or maybe…

Lebeau ran into Hogan's quarters and found Carter lying on his side below the window. He ran over to his side and checked him over. He was alive just out cold. He had a pretty bad bump on his head. The wind must have blown the window open and smacked the young man in the head.

Lebeau ran out to get the colonel. He could hear faint words leaving the unconscious man's lips. "Lebeau, where'd ya go?"

"I'll be right back!" He whispered gently and ran out of the barracks. It seemed the twister blew down the gate but didn't destroy any buildings. Hogan was inspecting the damage with Klink when Lebeau ran up to him. "Sir, I found Carter, he's unconscious in your room."

Hogan, Newkirk and Lebeau ran into the barracks and found Carter right where he had been left. He was mumbling something about stew and shrinking when they were leaning over him. He opened his eyes slightly. They thought he was coming to, he seemed to see them. His eyes rolled in their sockets then he squeezed them shut before passing out again. Newkirk's boot was right next to Carter's nose which crinkled when he smelled it then he scrunched up into a ball to hide. Hogan smiled at this although Newkirk was oblivious. They rolled him over onto his back and hoisted him into the bottom bunk. They carefully removed his clothes and tucked him into bed then Hogan ran to get Wilson.

Lebeau heard a rustling under the bed and the mouse Felix came out from under it. He looked frightened. Lebeau carefully lifted him up and placed him on the bed next to Carter. He figured it might comfort both parties. He curled up and settled down next to the young man.

Hogan came in with Wilson who gave him a once over, checking his head, his pulse, his breathing and so on. He stood up after he'd finished. "He'll be alright, it's just a bump. He'll probably be out for a little while though."

"Thanks," Hogan sat down on the end on the bunk.

Wilson left after he gave his examination and prescribing instructions for the men. "Someone should sit with him. When he wakes up he shouldn't move around too much. Be sure that he gets something to drink. Just incase it's a concussion be ready. I'll be in my barracks if you need me. "

"I'll sit with 'im first, Sir." Newkirk picked up a stool from that was tipped over on the floor from the wind storm earlier and set it up next to Carter.

A little while went by and he had been sitting there for nearly an hour. Carter started mumbling incoherently. The Englander looked over at the young man and gently touched the bump on his head. "Ow!" Carter yelled causing the Englander to retract his hand. He then mumbled, "What was that for?"

"It's your 'ead injury mate!" He said to his defense. Carter rolled his head over. Newkirk leaned in to try and hear the young man's mumbling. "No…" Carter whined a bit. Was he having a bad dream? Newkirk leaned in closer. "Don't eat Felix!" Carter's arm flew up and punched Newkirk in gut.

"Uh!" The Englander attempted to stand but was in too much pain and was doubled over.

Carter just rolled over.

Hogan ran in, "What's going on? Is Carter awake?"

"Mm.. No.. uh.. But he.. May as well be." Newkirk grunted in pain as he managed to get out of the room.

"I'll sit with him now," Kinch said taking a seat next to Carter. He lit his cigarette.

"Thanks Kinch." Hogan shut the door and went back to the others.

He sat with him and Carter did mumble a few things but he didn't make any sense. He mumbled something about grass forests and other such nonsense. Luckily he didn't flail out at him like he did to Newkirk. For the rest of the day Carter slept and made no fuss while Kinch was there. Then Carter mumbled something about smoke, so Kinch decided to put his cigarette down. The smell was still in the air but it wasn't as strong.

That night Hogan went to relieve him of duty and take his place at Carter's side. He sat there for a while until lights out came then went to bed. Carter slept soundly. Sometime during the night he heard the young man knock on the bunk. He looked down and he was just on his side with his arm hanging over the side of the bunk. Must have been his hand falling. The next morning just before roll call, he heard the young man stirring below him. He hopped out of bed and looked the young man in the face. He was laying on his back his face toward Hogan, his arm next to his head. There was a bit of confusion and frustration on his face. "Scarecrow…"

There was three knocks at the colonel's door. "Come in."

Kinch and the others walked in. "'Ow's he doing?" Newkirk asked.

"He seems to be stirring." Hogan and the others watched him eager that he'd wake up soon.

Carter's brow creased and he whispered, "I want to get back home to Stalag Thirteen." His voice was a sad plea for his friends.

"You are home, Carter." Hogan whispered gently, placing his hand on the young man's shoulder.

Carter opened his eyes tiredly and saw the men watching over him. He quickly sat up then held his head from the pain and dizziness. Hogan steadied him and put him back down into bed. "Relax, you'll be alright you just hit your head a bit."

Once he was comfortable he looked from face to face. "I had the craziest dream!" His eyes seemed to brighten when he realized that it was a dream.

"Oh yeah? I bet! You punched me in the stomach, mate!" Newkirk said crossing his arms.

"You were going to eat Felix!" Carter said jumping to his defense. "And you threw a riddle at my head! That hurt!"

"A what?" Newkirk asked confused. He looked to the other men who shrugged with an innocent smile playing on their lips. He must have been hit pretty hard.

"Well, that's what you called it but it was more like a radio!" Carter said, only now thinking about it.

Hogan looked at Newkirk who looked both grossed out and amused at the thought of eating Felix. "Mate, I wouldn't eat your mouse even if I was starvin'." He said with a chuckle to his voice.

"Good!" Then he looked down at himself. "Oh good I'm not wearing that dress anymore!"

The men laughed, "Mate, why don't you start at the beginning."

Carter stopped and thought back. "Well it all started with the twister. I ran in here looking for you guys. I was looking out the window when it blew open and hit me. I hit the ground and when I got up I went into the common room. Only the door and windows were gone! And I don't mean gone as in there was gaping holes in the wall, I mean there was nothing but wall!"

The looked at one another.

"I went back into, well here, and I looked out the window but there was a dark scary abyss below it. So I decided to go back into the main room. Then I saw Lebeau!"

"That must have been when I came in and found you."

Carter looked at him. "Oh yeah, maybe…" He thought some more. "You were wearing rabbit ears."

"PFT!" Newkirk burst into spitting laughter.

Carter and Lebeau looked at him with an unamused look on their face. "Anyway, Lebeau was cooking some sort of stew and when he ate some, poof, he was gone!" Carter raised his hands as though it was a magic trick, his eyes got big too.

Lebeau nodded, that's why he wondered where he had gone when the Frenchman had gone to get the colonel.

"Then I saw him running across the floor. He had shrunk! I followed him only to hit my head, which really hurt." He rubbed his head as though it still hurt. "Then I ate some and I started shrinking, I saw faces but they were really blurry and I got dizzy, I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was shrunk too!"

"That must have been when we all came in to get you." Hogan clarified.

Carter nodded understanding. "So I went to the mouse hole that Lebeau ran through only it was dark. So I went to your foot locker," He pointed at Newkirk. "I squeezed through the hole in the bottom corner and went looking for some matches. Only I fell in your boot, which was really smelly! You need to wash those things!"

The men all laughed except Newkirk who rolled his eyes. He was amused though.

"Then I got the matches and ran through the mouse hole. Then the barracks crashed down into the town that I was in. Only I had just come from it, so it didn't really make any sense. Then Hilda showed up in a pink gown and magic staff. She arrived riding in a bubble."

Hogan rubbed his eyes, 'this kid's imagination'.

"She gave me Felix and told me to take care of him. And then Hochstetter was the Wicked Witch. He didn't seem to happy about it.

"I wouldn't be either." The men laughed.

"Well anyway, they started fighting so I got out of there before I got blown up and I wound up in the woods, I kept passing by the same tree, but I know I wasn't going in circles. Then you showed up!" He pointed to Newkirk. "You were the Cheshire Cat, you wore kitty ears."

"PFT!" Lebeau burst into spitting laughter.

Carter and Newkirk weren't amused. "Yes, well anyway, you told me to go see the Mad Hatter, who was you! You just put on a stupid hat and changed your clothes! Then you threw a riddle at me! I mean radio! You kept trying to make me the host, when you invited me to your tea party! And I didn't get any tea!"

Newkirk just barely made sense of what the kid was saying. He seemed mad or at least frustrated. He tried not to laugh at the young man. "Well, I'll make you some tea after you tell us this story how 'bout that?"

Carter nodded he seemed to relax a bit, "Then I left and I ended up back at that stupid tree and you were there you saw Felix and tried to eat him So I punched you in the stomach and took Felix and ran."

"Yeah and that really hurt too mate!"

Then Wilson walked in.

"Well, you shouldn't have tried to eat Felix!"

"I missed something." Wilson stood by waiting until Carter was finished before looking him over.

"Then I wound up in a field and Klink was there only he was a scarecrow; no brains,"

The men chuckled.

"I got him down from where he was tied to a pole as punishment since he wouldn't survive on the Munchkin Front." Carter said seriously

"PFT!" Now it was Hogan's turn to burst into spitting laughter.

This time Carter laughed, "He ran off and I found Schultz the Cowardly Lion, Flying German Monkey Soldiers swooped in and carried him off."

The men couldn't help but laugh at the mental image.

"I ran through the forest and the trees turned into grass blades then I met you." He pointed to Kinch. "You were a caterpillar, you helped me get to the Wizard by leaving a smoke trail for me," He pointed at Hogan who was flattered to say the least at being called a wizard. "Then the people of the town, they said I was too dirty to see you so they made me change clothes, only they made me wear a dress."

"PFT!" Everyone was bursting into spitting laughter.

"Funny for you, not for me. Then I went to see you and the Wicked Witch showed up and took Felix to the Queen of Hearts, who was Burkhalter's sister. The Tin-Man was Burkhalter. We all went there and she wanted to marry the scarecrow who was with us,"

"Maybe it's a sign that Klink is destined to Marry Gertrude." Hogan said joking.

Carter smile. "So we traded him for Felix, who was dangling over a boiling pot. I didn't think it was fair that we traded one friend for another, but you said he wasn't a friend, then the Cat said that I was to get home, only you said that I was home, and then I woke up."

"And you were home, the whole time. Home is where your friends and family are after all." Hogan said kindly.

Carter smiled. "Yeah."

Wilson walked over taking this as cue that the story was over. "Now then let's see how you are."

Happy that Carter was better, they all listened to the rest of his wild tale of his adventures in the Wonderful Wonderland of Oz. Right after Newkirk got him some tea and Wilson finished looking the young man over.

…

The End


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